A Relationship Story - We All Fish
October 2008
My friend Donn Rohrs and his son Matt have an extraordinary passion – they both love to, and live to fish. The fisherman seems to enjoy a sort of peace, a patience – fishing seems almost like an existential experience more than a pastime. I remember how much my Dad loved fishing too – however, he could never “hook” me. Really, I have never felt a lot like a fisherman.
Then I remember 6 years ago when I got started as an executive search consultant with McDermott & Bull – one of the key images offered up as a truism of building a successful consulting practice was the need to plant a lot of seeds. If you don’t plant a lot, then not enough will grow. This made sense, and it also applies to everyone in one way or another – most of us are trying to build new relationships, our networks, and our spheres of influence – in consulting, in our jobs, and throughout our lives.
But really, I don’t feel a lot like a farmer. I have found the image of planting seeds to be unfulfilling. Yes, planting them and watering them will yield growth, but there has always been a missing dynamic about this that has nagged me.
Recently, I have come to believe something new about fishing and farming. You see, I have discovered a more powerful image for building a network in consulting or any other world – instead of planting more seeds, I believe the objective needs to be putting more baited hooks in the water. It seems to me that planting seeds is just too linear – every outcome is a direct outcome of just one seed.
The “missing dynamic” in farming is the absence of the network effect. As I see it, by putting more and more baited hooks in the water, we can create an opportunity for both direct outcomes (a fish bites) and indirect outcomes that results from the inevitable interaction and network effect of all of our individual baited hooks being in the same pool.
In the case of my business, those baited hooks include both relationships and tools. The most powerful of these are relationships - the interaction among all the people who are touched can create unexpected opportunities. As our firm’s business coach Vance Caesar says, what’s most important is who knows you and also tells positive stories about you.
For me, such relationships include current and potential retained-search clients, other companies that come to understand me and our firm and could be referral sources, service providers of all kinds who know potential clients for our services, people who I get to know volunteering in the non-profit world, candidates in search projects who (hopefully) have a good experience working with me and our firm, and other people who I get to know in the interest of assisting them in building their careers.
Writing these stories and distributing them to a broad cross-section of the business community is an example of the tools side of this concept, just as is bringing people together and making connections for people who may get network-effect value from knowing each other.
Now think about yourself – I believe that most of us are trying to build new relationships, our networks, and our spheres of influence – whether it’s in consulting, in our jobs, or in many other aspects of our lives. The image of a pool full of appropriately and consistently baited hooks can also be a path for you to reach your goals.
I believe that we all fish, even if we don’t realize it. Maybe the passion of Donn and Matt is something that I actually do share, and maybe even a little of the peace and patience can rub off too. That’s a nice thought. I hope it is for you as well.
As a bit of a postscript, when I asked Donn about using his story as my example, he reminded me of a key fisherman’s adage – “You need to fish where the fish are”. Another good thing to remember. As always, please let me know if there is any way I can be of assistance to you.
Sincerely,
Jeff Black
Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
A Relationship Story - Great Services Relationships
A Relationship Story - Great Services Relationships (Including Survey Results)
June 2008
Everyone is either a user or a provider of services, if not both. I have thought about the keys to success in these relationships for the entire 5½ years I have been an executive search consultant with McDermott & Bull. I also knew there were a lot of answers to this question out there in the wonderful community of clients, colleagues, community leaders, and friends who have become part of my life over these years – so I thought I’d ask.
A month ago, I asked you a question about Services Relationships. I can say with pride that I have received over 500 responses (I thank you all), and I’m sure this extensive data represents a statistically significant sample. I wanted to share the powerfully enlightening learnings that have resulted – this project has been a very cool experience.
The Question:
Think about the keys to successful relationships in receiving or providing services. I’ve listed 8 factors in successful services relationships.
A. They do good work (quality of product/service)
B. They are fast (speed of execution)
C. They are cheap (cost competitiveness)
D. I believe in them (trustworthiness/honesty)
E. They are professional (impressiveness)
F. I can count on them (consistency/dependability)
G. I get extra things (collateral benefits like learning, other resources, perks)
H. I like working with them (enjoyable relationship)
Please just send me a quick email choosing 3 (and only 3) of these that you consider the most important (please just 3, although we all know “they’re all important”). Also, please identify yourself as primarily a “user” or a “provider” of services. I want to compare the two groups.
The Results:
Admittedly, the “3 and only 3” requirement caused many important things to be left out, but the idea was to force people to identify their idea of the most critical elements in these relationships. The total number of responses was 563; they were very balanced and included 302 users and 261 providers.
There were three clear-cut choices – Quality, included by 86% of respondents; Reliability by 76%; Trust by 62%. In fact, a full 1/3 of all responses reflected these as their choices. None of the other choices were even close – Speed (13%), Cost (14%), Professionalism (18%), Extras (2%), Likeability (29%)
In addition to these summary results that answer the obvious curiosity we all shared, I also wanted to observe the user/provider differences, and to learn specifically about corporate professional services relationships similar to my business. I identified Corporate Top Executives (67 of them) and other Corporate Managers (144 of them), as I felt these were the most likely buyers of professional services, and I also identified Service Providers like myself (113 of them) as differentiated from others who also responded as “providers”.
There were some very powerful observations that jump from the data as follows:
• Service Providers tend to have skewed perceptions of the following versus Corporate Managers:
o They underestimate the irreplaceability of excellence (Quality) – 82% vs. 90%
o They underestimate the need for quickness (Speed) – 10% vs. 17%
o They underestimate the priority on affordability (Cost) – 10% vs. 17%
o They underestimate the power of being counted on (Dependability) – 68% vs. 82%
o They severely overestimate the importance of being liked (Likeability) – 40% vs. 21%
• In addition, Corporate Managers included Trust in their responses far less often (54%) than Service Providers did (68%); and they gave absolutely no weight to “Extras”.
One area I feel warrants further investigation is the surprisingly low rating among Corporate Managers in the area of Trust (54.2%). It seems that they just can’t always believe in their providers. I’ll bet they would be happy if this rating could be higher; this seems like a big opportunity for trustworthy providers. I look forward to developing a future communication piece on the key elements of building trust, and I welcome your thoughts and suggestions on this subject.
Closing observation – I had wondered about the success keys to these relationships … well I now have my answer. What will I (and all of us) do with this learning? Of course, all of the factors are critical to success, but after seeing these results, how can the focus of our efforts not start with ensuring the excellence of our performance and finish with never letting our clients down? I know I’m going to try never to forget.
Thanks for sharing time with me, and once again, thanks to so many of you for your interest and participation.
Sincerely,
Jeff Black
Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/
June 2008
Everyone is either a user or a provider of services, if not both. I have thought about the keys to success in these relationships for the entire 5½ years I have been an executive search consultant with McDermott & Bull. I also knew there were a lot of answers to this question out there in the wonderful community of clients, colleagues, community leaders, and friends who have become part of my life over these years – so I thought I’d ask.
A month ago, I asked you a question about Services Relationships. I can say with pride that I have received over 500 responses (I thank you all), and I’m sure this extensive data represents a statistically significant sample. I wanted to share the powerfully enlightening learnings that have resulted – this project has been a very cool experience.
The Question:
Think about the keys to successful relationships in receiving or providing services. I’ve listed 8 factors in successful services relationships.
A. They do good work (quality of product/service)
B. They are fast (speed of execution)
C. They are cheap (cost competitiveness)
D. I believe in them (trustworthiness/honesty)
E. They are professional (impressiveness)
F. I can count on them (consistency/dependability)
G. I get extra things (collateral benefits like learning, other resources, perks)
H. I like working with them (enjoyable relationship)
Please just send me a quick email choosing 3 (and only 3) of these that you consider the most important (please just 3, although we all know “they’re all important”). Also, please identify yourself as primarily a “user” or a “provider” of services. I want to compare the two groups.
The Results:
Admittedly, the “3 and only 3” requirement caused many important things to be left out, but the idea was to force people to identify their idea of the most critical elements in these relationships. The total number of responses was 563; they were very balanced and included 302 users and 261 providers.
There were three clear-cut choices – Quality, included by 86% of respondents; Reliability by 76%; Trust by 62%. In fact, a full 1/3 of all responses reflected these as their choices. None of the other choices were even close – Speed (13%), Cost (14%), Professionalism (18%), Extras (2%), Likeability (29%)
In addition to these summary results that answer the obvious curiosity we all shared, I also wanted to observe the user/provider differences, and to learn specifically about corporate professional services relationships similar to my business. I identified Corporate Top Executives (67 of them) and other Corporate Managers (144 of them), as I felt these were the most likely buyers of professional services, and I also identified Service Providers like myself (113 of them) as differentiated from others who also responded as “providers”.
There were some very powerful observations that jump from the data as follows:
• Service Providers tend to have skewed perceptions of the following versus Corporate Managers:
o They underestimate the irreplaceability of excellence (Quality) – 82% vs. 90%
o They underestimate the need for quickness (Speed) – 10% vs. 17%
o They underestimate the priority on affordability (Cost) – 10% vs. 17%
o They underestimate the power of being counted on (Dependability) – 68% vs. 82%
o They severely overestimate the importance of being liked (Likeability) – 40% vs. 21%
• In addition, Corporate Managers included Trust in their responses far less often (54%) than Service Providers did (68%); and they gave absolutely no weight to “Extras”.
One area I feel warrants further investigation is the surprisingly low rating among Corporate Managers in the area of Trust (54.2%). It seems that they just can’t always believe in their providers. I’ll bet they would be happy if this rating could be higher; this seems like a big opportunity for trustworthy providers. I look forward to developing a future communication piece on the key elements of building trust, and I welcome your thoughts and suggestions on this subject.
Closing observation – I had wondered about the success keys to these relationships … well I now have my answer. What will I (and all of us) do with this learning? Of course, all of the factors are critical to success, but after seeing these results, how can the focus of our efforts not start with ensuring the excellence of our performance and finish with never letting our clients down? I know I’m going to try never to forget.
Thanks for sharing time with me, and once again, thanks to so many of you for your interest and participation.
Sincerely,
Jeff Black
Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 01, 2008
A Relationship Story - Leading Tomorrow’s Leaders
I recently attended an excellent panel discussion on “Managing Across Generations” hosted by the Business School at Vanguard University (I serve on the Advisory Council for them). The focus of the talk was on managing the Millennial Generation (maybe you know it as Gen Y) - people born between 1978 and 1998.
Why is this group so important? Considering the pace of retirements out of the baby-boom generation, who are still leading many of our institutions today, the importance of the Millennials will expand exponentially as new college classes keep graduating. In addition, you may agree that uncertainty looms around the next corner we are approaching, and the Millennials will be a huge factor in success or failure through that turning.
One of the panelists, Chip Espinoza, is a Vanguard Professor and EVP of LeadershipTraQ (www.leadershiptraq.com). He shared research about Millennials as expressed by a large population of managers who lead these individuals:
1. They want a trophy just for showing up.
2. They need constant affirmation.
3. They want to have a say from day one.
4. They think they work smarter and faster than the rest of us.
5. They want to know what I am going to do to help them get promoted.
6. They don’t give themselves to projects that they don’t find interesting.
7. They don’t seem interested in what I know.
8. They think any excuse will make being late okay.
9. They seem to have a short attention span.
Intriguing, eh? There is a tendency to think something is particularly unique about this generation versus others, and there may very well be big differences in the life-circumstances that form the perspective of this group – there may be some expectations and “entitlement” issues that are distinctive. However, I wondered whether the things that motivate them are really that different from everyone else.
After my last story on “The Pursuit of Reason” my friend Joe Bonaker sent me a classic article on motivating employees from the 1968 Harvard Business Review written by the leadership guru Fredrick Herzberg. It addressed the key factors influencing motivation. The following is a listing of the 6 factors that led to extreme job satisfaction:
Achievement, Recognition, the Work Itself, Responsibility, Advancement, and Growth
When I consider these fundamental building blocks of motivation, and then I compare them with the 9 characteristics of Millennials, I see an extraordinary parallel. In my estimation, what Herzberg’s research described as the keys to motivating employees 40 years ago are the same things that motivate Millennials today, especially being recognized, enjoying the work itself, being given responsibility, and moving forward in their careers.
Admittedly, there are some behavioral tendencies that differentiate young people today – extreme self confidence, an expectation of recognition and encouragement, and tendencies to be cavalier and sometimes undisciplined – but I’d argue that these things were also true for me when I was a “twenty something”.
I believe that Millennials are a resource we must fully endorse and support (beginning right now) if we hope to keep our businesses moving forward. It seems to me that it’s easy to fall into a trap and assume they are hard to manage and “not our problem”, but we let this happen at our extreme peril. It seems wise to me that we recognize that these youthful greats need the same things we did when we were their age (and that we still do now), and we should consider motivating them to be among our greatest opportunities.
Thanks for sharing time with me; I welcome your thoughts and feedback, and please feel free to share this with others.
A quick business update – I have successfully completed over 10 search projects in the past quarter for a wide variety of clients across a similar variety of positions. After 5½ years with McDermott & Bull I continue to be proud of the relationships I build with my clients. Most companies use retained search, and they tend to “go-to” who they already know for this trust-based service. I welcome your introductions to companies (or to the right people in your company) who may value knowing me and considering McDermott & Bull as a trusted provider.
Why is this group so important? Considering the pace of retirements out of the baby-boom generation, who are still leading many of our institutions today, the importance of the Millennials will expand exponentially as new college classes keep graduating. In addition, you may agree that uncertainty looms around the next corner we are approaching, and the Millennials will be a huge factor in success or failure through that turning.
One of the panelists, Chip Espinoza, is a Vanguard Professor and EVP of LeadershipTraQ (www.leadershiptraq.com). He shared research about Millennials as expressed by a large population of managers who lead these individuals:
1. They want a trophy just for showing up.
2. They need constant affirmation.
3. They want to have a say from day one.
4. They think they work smarter and faster than the rest of us.
5. They want to know what I am going to do to help them get promoted.
6. They don’t give themselves to projects that they don’t find interesting.
7. They don’t seem interested in what I know.
8. They think any excuse will make being late okay.
9. They seem to have a short attention span.
Intriguing, eh? There is a tendency to think something is particularly unique about this generation versus others, and there may very well be big differences in the life-circumstances that form the perspective of this group – there may be some expectations and “entitlement” issues that are distinctive. However, I wondered whether the things that motivate them are really that different from everyone else.
After my last story on “The Pursuit of Reason” my friend Joe Bonaker sent me a classic article on motivating employees from the 1968 Harvard Business Review written by the leadership guru Fredrick Herzberg. It addressed the key factors influencing motivation. The following is a listing of the 6 factors that led to extreme job satisfaction:
Achievement, Recognition, the Work Itself, Responsibility, Advancement, and Growth
When I consider these fundamental building blocks of motivation, and then I compare them with the 9 characteristics of Millennials, I see an extraordinary parallel. In my estimation, what Herzberg’s research described as the keys to motivating employees 40 years ago are the same things that motivate Millennials today, especially being recognized, enjoying the work itself, being given responsibility, and moving forward in their careers.
Admittedly, there are some behavioral tendencies that differentiate young people today – extreme self confidence, an expectation of recognition and encouragement, and tendencies to be cavalier and sometimes undisciplined – but I’d argue that these things were also true for me when I was a “twenty something”.
I believe that Millennials are a resource we must fully endorse and support (beginning right now) if we hope to keep our businesses moving forward. It seems to me that it’s easy to fall into a trap and assume they are hard to manage and “not our problem”, but we let this happen at our extreme peril. It seems wise to me that we recognize that these youthful greats need the same things we did when we were their age (and that we still do now), and we should consider motivating them to be among our greatest opportunities.
Thanks for sharing time with me; I welcome your thoughts and feedback, and please feel free to share this with others.
A quick business update – I have successfully completed over 10 search projects in the past quarter for a wide variety of clients across a similar variety of positions. After 5½ years with McDermott & Bull I continue to be proud of the relationships I build with my clients. Most companies use retained search, and they tend to “go-to” who they already know for this trust-based service. I welcome your introductions to companies (or to the right people in your company) who may value knowing me and considering McDermott & Bull as a trusted provider.
A Relationship Story - In Pursuit of Reason
So it’s the Spring of 2002 and I’m sitting in my office as a VP/GM in the Raytheon Services Company, and I have a couple of minutes to kill before getting to do a performance appraisal with my very favorite person on the team. Not wanting to get wrapped up in anything, I reach under my desk and pull out a random file from a box that is still there from my last “corporate office move”. I look in the file and am reminded of that big-deal 1999 project – the charts and detailed data – vivid images of the long nights with a team in a Maryland conference room, the red-eye flights, the huge presentations and gigantic decisions. But then I realize, not only is this stuff no longer applicable after three years, it is as if it never existed – there is simply no meaning any more. At that moment, I realized that I had to find a way for my work to make more sense and be more meaningful – I just didn’t want to waste my life. It wasn’t long before I quit my job and stepped off the cliff into what seemed like an uncertain world – however, nothing I have done since has ever felt meaningless again.
Now I am never asked to do anything that is not directly related to either the success of my clients or to building the community of relationships that continues to enable my business to grow. I believe that all of us seek the same path to a place where reason and sensibility drive our every choice.
With two amazing daughters deeply involved in the University social sciences world, the study of ideas is always present around our family. Over the recent year end holidays, I had the chance to be reminded of the pursuit of reason from three very disparate sources, all as a result of the influence of my daughters. I read three very different books, from three completely different political perspectives, but each that seemed to be asking the same questions about the pursuit of the reasonable and the sensible.
Since I had been fascinated with the “Distopia” classics 1984 by George Orwell and Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, my History-teacher daughter Katie encouraged me to read an early book that touched on the opposite idea – Utopia by Sir Thomas More. Written in 1516 about a mythical island world, the book seemed to pose questions about what the nobleman-author believed to be senseless and illogical about England under Henry VIII.
Next, as a Christmas present (only in my family I suppose) from my Political Science-student daughter Lisa, I read Ayn Rand’s 1957 book Atlas Shrugged that posed questions about the control of society on the reasoned judgments of the individual. It offered a “we’ll just take our marbles and go home” approach to curing what the author viewed as illogical and senseless about our society. It offered a very different vantage point, but was still an argument about reason.
And then again as a Christmas present it was Al Gore’s 2007 book The Assault on Reason as it takes aim on what he perceives as the disappearance of thinking and dialogue in our society. He bemoans the power of the 30-second TV spot, and poses questions hoping for more decision-making sense to be made. This was a third very different point of view, but still at its core about the same subject – reason.
From these three disparate examples it seemed glaringly apparent to me that the pursuit of reason is a fundamental objective of a thinking being. When I remember the empty feeling of looking through that file and realizing the wasted time and energy that it represented, it reminded me to make sure reason stays out in front of how I choose to use the ever-squeezed time I have available.
I’ll bet if you look around your life you might also find some pointlessness that you can shed, some stupid things that steal moments of your life. Sadly, when we waste precious time, we don’t get it back. Maybe our world doesn’t always insist that things make sense, but not to worry, we can expect more of ourselves.
Thanks for sharing time with me and I welcome your thoughts and feedback.
Now I am never asked to do anything that is not directly related to either the success of my clients or to building the community of relationships that continues to enable my business to grow. I believe that all of us seek the same path to a place where reason and sensibility drive our every choice.
With two amazing daughters deeply involved in the University social sciences world, the study of ideas is always present around our family. Over the recent year end holidays, I had the chance to be reminded of the pursuit of reason from three very disparate sources, all as a result of the influence of my daughters. I read three very different books, from three completely different political perspectives, but each that seemed to be asking the same questions about the pursuit of the reasonable and the sensible.
Since I had been fascinated with the “Distopia” classics 1984 by George Orwell and Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, my History-teacher daughter Katie encouraged me to read an early book that touched on the opposite idea – Utopia by Sir Thomas More. Written in 1516 about a mythical island world, the book seemed to pose questions about what the nobleman-author believed to be senseless and illogical about England under Henry VIII.
Next, as a Christmas present (only in my family I suppose) from my Political Science-student daughter Lisa, I read Ayn Rand’s 1957 book Atlas Shrugged that posed questions about the control of society on the reasoned judgments of the individual. It offered a “we’ll just take our marbles and go home” approach to curing what the author viewed as illogical and senseless about our society. It offered a very different vantage point, but was still an argument about reason.
And then again as a Christmas present it was Al Gore’s 2007 book The Assault on Reason as it takes aim on what he perceives as the disappearance of thinking and dialogue in our society. He bemoans the power of the 30-second TV spot, and poses questions hoping for more decision-making sense to be made. This was a third very different point of view, but still at its core about the same subject – reason.
From these three disparate examples it seemed glaringly apparent to me that the pursuit of reason is a fundamental objective of a thinking being. When I remember the empty feeling of looking through that file and realizing the wasted time and energy that it represented, it reminded me to make sure reason stays out in front of how I choose to use the ever-squeezed time I have available.
I’ll bet if you look around your life you might also find some pointlessness that you can shed, some stupid things that steal moments of your life. Sadly, when we waste precious time, we don’t get it back. Maybe our world doesn’t always insist that things make sense, but not to worry, we can expect more of ourselves.
Thanks for sharing time with me and I welcome your thoughts and feedback.
A Relationship Story - Everyone Deserves Better Choices
My brother and I grew up in a brand new neighborhood in Buena Park in the early 1960’s, and while it was plain and simple, we had both of our hard working parents there with us. We were safe to grow up and make choices about how we could find happiness.
Roman and his brother Kenneth (Sammy Boy) Reyna grew up together in Santa Ana. There were a lot of influences that faced young people in their neighborhood, and a lot of them were bad. They had a lot fewer choices than my brother and I did; we got to participate with our Dad in a great parent-child program in the YMCA called Indian Guides. The time spent with the other families in the group reinforced the kind of caring family experience we enjoyed.
Roman and Sammy Boy had to take care of themselves while their Mother worked two or three jobs – when Dad was there he was selling drugs out of their house. The experience challenged Roman and Sammy Boy to find their own way through a world that seemed a lot less caring than they deserved.
Roman and Sammy Boy were each exposed to the same kind of challenges. With little to help them build strong self images, both boys were tested daily with the lure of another attraction – gang membership. Choosing the safety of this new “family” meant still another big choice – to take risks and compromise their values by falling into a life of crime. For Sammy Boy, this was his path. But Roman got to make a different choice.
Roman didn’t get to take part in an Indian Guides group with his Dad like my brother and I did. However, the YMCA did come to his rescue, enabling him to be part of a community of young people that lived a character-centered life. Roman took the hand that was extended to him and got involved in after school athletic programs offered at no cost to those in need by the YMCA serving his neighborhood.
Today, Roman Reyna is a Director of Youth Development programs for the YMCA of Orange County and is devoting his life to changing young lives for the better – reaching out the same charitable and caring hand to others that so changed his life. Today, Sammy Boy is in prison as a 3 strikes offender.
3 years ago, my friend Greg Arbues extended a hand to me and offered the chance to be a part of the YMCA movement again as a volunteer. As a member of the Board of Directors of the YMCA of Orange County I see my role as helping to create as many Roman Reynas as possible – and to see the thousands of lives changed that more Roman Reynas can make possible. You can click on the following link for a video featuring the story of Roman and Sammy Boy.
http://www.ymcaoc.org/support/index.php (Scroll down the page to “Roman’s Story” YMCA Video) – FYI, the video is 8 minutes long, and worth every second).
If the link is not live, paste the following into your browser: http://www.ymcaoc.org/support/index.php
There are a lot of people in need in Orange County. Did you know that, nationwide, 25% of school-age kids do not have a supervised activity between 3pm and 6pm on schooldays? Did you know that 50% of high school dropouts in the U.S. come from 15% of the schools? Our most troubled communities are perfect examples of these problems, including Santa Ana where we are 3/4 of the way to raising the $20M we need to build a YMCA facility within 3 miles of 80,000 kids.
YMCA of Orange County – We are currently reaching out to build relationships with new friends, volunteers, and contributors. Your donations go directly to programs supporting at-risk and underserved youth and families including the same after-school programs in high-risk communities that saved Roman. Our mission is to change lives for the better. You can make a big difference.
To make a donation and change lives click on this link. https://www.keysecure.com/ymcaoc.org/support/donate.php (You do not need to be a YMCA member to make a donation)
If the link is not live, paste the following into your browser: https://www.keysecure.com/ymcaoc.org/support/donate.php
If you would like to get involved as a volunteer or would like more information please just let me know and I’ll get you connected with the right members of the YMCA team.
Thank you for sharing your time. I welcome your thoughts and feedback.
Roman and his brother Kenneth (Sammy Boy) Reyna grew up together in Santa Ana. There were a lot of influences that faced young people in their neighborhood, and a lot of them were bad. They had a lot fewer choices than my brother and I did; we got to participate with our Dad in a great parent-child program in the YMCA called Indian Guides. The time spent with the other families in the group reinforced the kind of caring family experience we enjoyed.
Roman and Sammy Boy had to take care of themselves while their Mother worked two or three jobs – when Dad was there he was selling drugs out of their house. The experience challenged Roman and Sammy Boy to find their own way through a world that seemed a lot less caring than they deserved.
Roman and Sammy Boy were each exposed to the same kind of challenges. With little to help them build strong self images, both boys were tested daily with the lure of another attraction – gang membership. Choosing the safety of this new “family” meant still another big choice – to take risks and compromise their values by falling into a life of crime. For Sammy Boy, this was his path. But Roman got to make a different choice.
Roman didn’t get to take part in an Indian Guides group with his Dad like my brother and I did. However, the YMCA did come to his rescue, enabling him to be part of a community of young people that lived a character-centered life. Roman took the hand that was extended to him and got involved in after school athletic programs offered at no cost to those in need by the YMCA serving his neighborhood.
Today, Roman Reyna is a Director of Youth Development programs for the YMCA of Orange County and is devoting his life to changing young lives for the better – reaching out the same charitable and caring hand to others that so changed his life. Today, Sammy Boy is in prison as a 3 strikes offender.
3 years ago, my friend Greg Arbues extended a hand to me and offered the chance to be a part of the YMCA movement again as a volunteer. As a member of the Board of Directors of the YMCA of Orange County I see my role as helping to create as many Roman Reynas as possible – and to see the thousands of lives changed that more Roman Reynas can make possible. You can click on the following link for a video featuring the story of Roman and Sammy Boy.
http://www.ymcaoc.org/support/index.php (Scroll down the page to “Roman’s Story” YMCA Video) – FYI, the video is 8 minutes long, and worth every second).
If the link is not live, paste the following into your browser: http://www.ymcaoc.org/support/index.php
There are a lot of people in need in Orange County. Did you know that, nationwide, 25% of school-age kids do not have a supervised activity between 3pm and 6pm on schooldays? Did you know that 50% of high school dropouts in the U.S. come from 15% of the schools? Our most troubled communities are perfect examples of these problems, including Santa Ana where we are 3/4 of the way to raising the $20M we need to build a YMCA facility within 3 miles of 80,000 kids.
YMCA of Orange County – We are currently reaching out to build relationships with new friends, volunteers, and contributors. Your donations go directly to programs supporting at-risk and underserved youth and families including the same after-school programs in high-risk communities that saved Roman. Our mission is to change lives for the better. You can make a big difference.
To make a donation and change lives click on this link. https://www.keysecure.com/ymcaoc.org/support/donate.php (You do not need to be a YMCA member to make a donation)
If the link is not live, paste the following into your browser: https://www.keysecure.com/ymcaoc.org/support/donate.php
If you would like to get involved as a volunteer or would like more information please just let me know and I’ll get you connected with the right members of the YMCA team.
Thank you for sharing your time. I welcome your thoughts and feedback.
A Relationship Story - Committing to Our Dreams
Finding fulfillment is not for lightweights. If it was easy, we’d all have it. Faced with the real world, we have to work at it to have a chance. Our lives need to be about dreams, about taking risks – not stupid ones – meaningful, turning-point risks that keep us from being victims of the norm.
But, it’s not only about taking risks, even the right ones … it is much more important to commit fully to the choices we’ve made. Without that commitment, any risk is likely to be foolhardy. I want to share three related stories about good friends that help to illustrate what I mean.
Jesse Kurvink was always a bright and talented kid, achieving at a high level, including being Junior Class President at Huntington Beach High School. He was also in the most popular rock band at HB High. While many kids were preparing college applications, Jesse and the boys were being courted by Drive-Thru Records.
Jesse and his friends soon had a big choice to make: a big risk to take. Jesse skipped his senior year, passed the GED to get his diploma, and prepared to hit the road in 2003. Jesse – whose parents had been friends of mine since before he was born - told me that he would give this a try for as long as the ride lasted, and then he would be off to college.
Fast forward: a few weeks ago, I saw Jesse, now 22, play with his band, Hellogoodbye, as the headliner at The Grove of Anaheim. Their 2006 hit song, Here in Your Arms, has gone Platinum – 1 million copies sold. After 2½ years on the road, the band is coming home to record their next CD and see how much longer the ride can last. Jesse is a committed risk taker, and success came early.
Back around 1994, another young man, this one in Seattle, had similar dreams. Damian DeRobbio didn’t have Jesse’s advantage; he didn’t get signed out of high school. For the next 5 years he pursued a musician’s life before finally connecting with the right group; in 1999, Damian started playing bass with an established Latin-Reggae group called the B-Side Players.
Damian’s Dad and I went to see them play in early 2006 at the Roxy in Hollywood; I remember Damian, then 32 years old, saying to us after a show: “All I want is to make one record, that’s all, and then I’ll get a real job.”
In the summer of 2006, the B-Side Players were signed to Concord Picante Records and their debut CD, Fire in the Youth, was released this year and was the #1 Album on the ITUNES Latino Alternative charts. Damian and the group are now on the road for the next year to promote the CD and to build their fan base; it looks like his dream has become a reality. Damian is a committed risk taker, and success came after a long hard ride.
Back in time a bit, in 1983, Erick Pipes also had similar dreams. He hit the road at 17 as part of a tight touring band, but instead of a recording contract, Erick and the band got to see the world and have a great 15-year ride as professional musicians. But when his first child was on the way, he knew it was time to call this phase of his life a success and go back home.
Along with the start of his family, Erick’s post-road dream also included finishing his degree and becoming a teacher. His life experience as a performer helps him support the artistic lives of his own kids who perform in Community Theater, and it also helps make him a great volunteer at the theater and a positive influence on a whole lot of other people too. I’ll bet he has a similar effect on the 5th graders who are lucky enough to be in his class.
Just like Jesse and Damian, Erick is a committed risk taker. He took the risk and chased the dream as a musician, then leveraged the experiences into fulfilling new dreams – just like Jesse and Damian will down the road.
Now let’s face it, we don’t all aspire to be rock stars. I am certainly no rock star, but the risk I took leaving my own comfortable corporate life required the same kind of commitment to see things through.
When you think about your own lives, it could be that taking the path less traveled may lead you closer to your dreams. It just may be that a dream is only a risk when it’s not supported by the commitment to make it come true.
Thanks for sharing time with me and I welcome your thoughts and comments.
An exciting update on a recent story: A recent story of mine – “Building a Subculture of Starfish,” – was about our firm’s experience with our own decentralized movement and our participation in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Rod Beckstrom, the author of the book that was referenced in that story – The Starfish and the Spider – issues a newsletter called The Starfish Report, and my story was featured in the November issue. You can view it at: http://www.beckstrom.com/Newsletter
But, it’s not only about taking risks, even the right ones … it is much more important to commit fully to the choices we’ve made. Without that commitment, any risk is likely to be foolhardy. I want to share three related stories about good friends that help to illustrate what I mean.
Jesse Kurvink was always a bright and talented kid, achieving at a high level, including being Junior Class President at Huntington Beach High School. He was also in the most popular rock band at HB High. While many kids were preparing college applications, Jesse and the boys were being courted by Drive-Thru Records.
Jesse and his friends soon had a big choice to make: a big risk to take. Jesse skipped his senior year, passed the GED to get his diploma, and prepared to hit the road in 2003. Jesse – whose parents had been friends of mine since before he was born - told me that he would give this a try for as long as the ride lasted, and then he would be off to college.
Fast forward: a few weeks ago, I saw Jesse, now 22, play with his band, Hellogoodbye, as the headliner at The Grove of Anaheim. Their 2006 hit song, Here in Your Arms, has gone Platinum – 1 million copies sold. After 2½ years on the road, the band is coming home to record their next CD and see how much longer the ride can last. Jesse is a committed risk taker, and success came early.
Back around 1994, another young man, this one in Seattle, had similar dreams. Damian DeRobbio didn’t have Jesse’s advantage; he didn’t get signed out of high school. For the next 5 years he pursued a musician’s life before finally connecting with the right group; in 1999, Damian started playing bass with an established Latin-Reggae group called the B-Side Players.
Damian’s Dad and I went to see them play in early 2006 at the Roxy in Hollywood; I remember Damian, then 32 years old, saying to us after a show: “All I want is to make one record, that’s all, and then I’ll get a real job.”
In the summer of 2006, the B-Side Players were signed to Concord Picante Records and their debut CD, Fire in the Youth, was released this year and was the #1 Album on the ITUNES Latino Alternative charts. Damian and the group are now on the road for the next year to promote the CD and to build their fan base; it looks like his dream has become a reality. Damian is a committed risk taker, and success came after a long hard ride.
Back in time a bit, in 1983, Erick Pipes also had similar dreams. He hit the road at 17 as part of a tight touring band, but instead of a recording contract, Erick and the band got to see the world and have a great 15-year ride as professional musicians. But when his first child was on the way, he knew it was time to call this phase of his life a success and go back home.
Along with the start of his family, Erick’s post-road dream also included finishing his degree and becoming a teacher. His life experience as a performer helps him support the artistic lives of his own kids who perform in Community Theater, and it also helps make him a great volunteer at the theater and a positive influence on a whole lot of other people too. I’ll bet he has a similar effect on the 5th graders who are lucky enough to be in his class.
Just like Jesse and Damian, Erick is a committed risk taker. He took the risk and chased the dream as a musician, then leveraged the experiences into fulfilling new dreams – just like Jesse and Damian will down the road.
Now let’s face it, we don’t all aspire to be rock stars. I am certainly no rock star, but the risk I took leaving my own comfortable corporate life required the same kind of commitment to see things through.
When you think about your own lives, it could be that taking the path less traveled may lead you closer to your dreams. It just may be that a dream is only a risk when it’s not supported by the commitment to make it come true.
Thanks for sharing time with me and I welcome your thoughts and comments.
An exciting update on a recent story: A recent story of mine – “Building a Subculture of Starfish,” – was about our firm’s experience with our own decentralized movement and our participation in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. Rod Beckstrom, the author of the book that was referenced in that story – The Starfish and the Spider – issues a newsletter called The Starfish Report, and my story was featured in the November issue. You can view it at: http://www.beckstrom.com/Newsletter
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