Relationship Story -- Leadership by Getting Out of the Way

I have the best job in the world – I get to meet high perfoming, fascinating people all the time – clients, candidates, partners, leaders of all kinds - and learn their unique success stories. I always want to know what kind of business environment gets the very best out of people and teams. The answer is almost always a version of the same theme:

“Give the people what they need to succeed and just let them do it”

In the great new leadership book, TOP Box Leadership by William C. Sproule, these themes are explored in a highly compelling fashion. The book informs, teaches, and entertains as Sproule captures the essence of macro-management by showing how gathering the best Talent, setting the right Outcomes, and defining clear Parameters for team decision-making leads to great teams and exceptional results…and then the leader needs to get out of the box and let people do their jobs. I strongly recommend this book to leaders in any environment.

Sproule’s book highlights a subject that totally fascinates me – the conscious choice about the culture within a company. This is one of the most compelling learnings for me as I work with all kinds of companies in helping them build and improve their leadership teams. I believe that the culture of a company, and I define that as “what really matters here”, is fully under the control of the leaders in a company. Sproule’s book suggests a disciplined way to establish a successful culture, and it starts from the leader.

It seems to me there is nothing more important than creating enough freedom for smart people to do what they think is right. Now, admittedly, this is a bit hard to argue…a little like saying “freedom is a pretty good thing” (a quote from my favorite movie – Field of Dreams). However, it’s the source of organizational freedom that I think really matters, and why I believe that culture is in the control of true leaders.

If a leader wants to allow his people to think freely, and thereby get the most from their contributions, it’s not enough to just empower them (do you notice we don’t hear that word a lot any more in business writing?) It goes further than that. The leader has to really trust the people on his team – to genuinely believe that everyone is pursuing the same goals. If there is a doubt about this alignment, the result is the dreaded disease we all hate in business…politics!

Think of the image of pulling a rope together. A leader’s job is to LEAD definition of the rope and what is on the other end (process and goal, or Parameters and Outcomes according to Sproule). Also, there must be clarity on the makeup of the team pulling the rope (Sproule’s concept of Talent). However, I believe the key ingredient for this to actually work is a prevailing trust that binds the people with each other, along with both goal and process.

A leader who cannot engender trust is likely afraid of losing something – perhaps it’s control, maybe it’s credit, or it could even be identity. However, any of these reasons means the leader will never really be able to get the heck out of the way and let people be great. In seeking outstanding results and long-lasting success, focusing on process will never get us to the promised land unless a foundation of trust keeps the sands from shifting under our feet. Trust begets greatness.

I’d love to hear what you think about this. After all, everybody sees important things like this in their own distinctive way, and thank goodness for that or things would be really boring!

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Recommended Resources: TOP Box Leadership – William C. Sproule www.topboxleadership.com

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

Relationship Story -- Being Ourselves – Bravery or Necessity?

Is it brave to be real? We all have a choice to make every day – are we going to be ourselves, or are we going to fake it?

Many of you may have read my last story, “Our Legacy in the Stories People Tell” (copied below); a comment from a dynamic entrepreneur really hit home as the perfect topic for a follow-up to that story. He said: “Interesting how you are so open personally with your client base and referral sources - definitely brave of you!”
I thought about this a while and realized that sharing thoughts and observations about my life, the business world, and the great relationships I have is, in fact, rather personal. But why do it this way?

I was reminded of three people who have influenced me with their unique ability to be themselves – maybe they will make you think of similar people in your lives:

There was Captain Ed Whelan who I worked with when I was just getting started as a business unit leader in my corporate life. He had been a career officer in the Navy and I was lucky enough to benefit from his mentorship during his second career. I still remember how comfortable he was in his own skin – he naturally made everyone around him comfortable as well. He tried hard to help a fairly clueless young leader understand the benefits that authenticity might offer me – clearly he believed that was the kind of leadership people really wanted. While I wish I’d been able to listen better back then, I have never forgotten his message.

Then, over the past 12 years, I’ve been learning from the passionate and authentic leadership of Janice Kraus, the Founder and Producer of the nonprofit Stagelight Family Productions, a youth theater program in Orange County. My daughter and thousands of other kids like her have received a huge confidence boost from the experience of performing and being part of a great team effort, so the benefits for the kids are unmistakable. However, it is Janice’s authentic and uniquely personal leadership that makes the program a true community. The experience is not just for the kids – the unique culture of trust that Janice creates is inspiring to parents and kids alike.

And now, in recent years, I have been able to work alongside a great volunteer leader who inspires me with his own special brand of authenticity - Rick Donahue, the Board Chairman for the YMCA of Orange County. Rick has an uncanny way of allowing his natural realness and seek-no-credit approach to bring out the best in everyone. He is always able to laugh at himself – he obviously has great self-awareness and quiet confidence – and he disarms much of the anxiety that can easily arise in such a group. Also, because of his passionate external focus on our charitable mission, he makes everyone uniquely comfortable and inspires a common passion in all of us.

So, is it brave to be real or must we be real to be truly effective?

These three examples are a lens for looking at ourselves and they help me know why being personal is a necessity for me – besides it just feeling right, I also know I’d be a terrible fake (I’m not a good enough actor!)

Give yourself the gift of thinking about people in your world who are great at being authentic. You never know, there just may be a nugget of brilliance there that can teach a great lesson.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Resources:

Stagelight Family Productions – www.stagelightproductions.com
YMCA of Orange County – www.ymcaoc.org
Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

A Relationship Story - Our Legacy in the Stories People Tell

What indelible impressions are we leaving on others? Let’s be honest, we think we’re really important, but even the biggest footprints in the sand wash away by morning.

However, we are creating lasting memories for the people in our lives every day. What will they remember?

My Dad was a great man. No, he wasn’t perfect – how could he be growing up in the Depression with a single Mom, living like nomads until he was an adolescent, moving from relative to relative? And dealing with getting only an 8th grade education, two years in a tent in North Africa serving in World War II, and leaving Alabama for a California entreprenurial dream that was stolen away from him too soon? No, he wasn’t perfect, but he was a great man.

And not because he achieved storybook fame and fortune coming from modest means – not that version of “great”. My Dad worked hard as a 33-year union man with Hughes Aircraft while moonlighting as a watchmaker at home in the evenings – he was always so busy that I appreciated the times he would break away to play catch with his sports-crazed son. No, he didn’t conquer the world, but he was a great man.

And not because he achieved major acclaim in the community by being the President of this or the Grand Poobah of that. He was a valuable part of groups like the Masonic Lodge, and a volunteer par-excellance in all the worlds where my brother and I were involved, but he never “led” anything. No, he was not prominent, but he was a great man.

Now four years after he left us at age 84 I look back on his life and realize what greatness really means. To put it simply - everyone loved my Dad. He has always been remembered so fondly by everyone who knew him – family, friends and the people he worked and volunteered with.

• My brother and I just went to a family reunion in Alabama and everyone raved about how wonderful “Charlie” had been – and the reunion was with our Mom’s side of the family!

• Early in my corporate life at Hughes (where one of his watchmaking customers gave me my first job) I was a brash, energetic, and pretty annoying young guy, but anybody that knew I was Charlie Black’s son immediately treated me like I was okay with them.

• My Dad embodied the true definition of volunteer – I still cherish a special carved hatchet he made for every kid in our tribe as an invitation to a YMCA Indian Guides meeting – where did he find the time to make those while working two jobs? Anything I ever learned about helping others I learned from his example.

I could learn from my Dad’s life that it’s not about being perfect, it’s about persevering through challenges and leaving the campsite cleaner than you found it (both literally and in relationships); I could learn from my Dad that not everyone conquers the world, but working really hard makes a difference to everyone around us in addition to ourselves; I could learn from my Dad that giving our time and talent in a caring way is our greatest volunteer gift – we impact people’s lives whether we are a leader or not.

Maybe it would help us all to remember that the stories people tell, and will tell about us, are most likely about how we made them feel – I truly believe that is our best way to really matter. That’s the kind of greatness we can all truly hope to realize.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

A final tribute to my Dad – this story intentionally coincides with the Angels hosting the MLB All-Star Game. While my brother and I (both life-long Dodger fans) could never really understand it, Dad always loved the Angels and we couldn’t convince him otherwise – like I said, he wasn’t perfect!

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

Relationship Story - Real Perspective

I remember my late 30’s – 15 years married and two daughters in elementary school. My volunteer life, like most parents at that stage, was attached to the girls’ activities like YMCA Princesses, Girl Scouts, and softball. I was busy building a career while trying not to miss the kids’ things, and helping a little whenever possible. I’m sure I whined a lot too. I clearly didn’t realize how good I had it.

A few years later I got to experience an extraordinary volunteer community - youth theater - parents who spent tons of time and energy volunteering but also bonded like no other volunteer group I had seen. There was something special about the shared experience of making magic happen on stage while enabling a huge growth experience for the kids.

The MIB’s (the “B” is for Back, as in Backstage) worked tirelessly building sets and as backstage crew for the shows – always in back, always in the dark, always unsung. Recently one of those selfless difference makers – a wonderful Dad in his late 30’s with two teenage daughters – went to the hospital with a mystifying viral disease. He didn’t come home and our world was deprived of this wonderful man.

Perhaps I caught you by surprise with this sad story, however, it helps me make two important points about real perspective. First…it reminds me that I have no right to whine about anything. The second point I want to share (and more importantly remember myself) is far more powerful.

The community outpouring of concern and direct help for this family is fantastic, and it’s what we might hope for from a family-oriented group like this. It is so natural for caring people to want to “do” something to directly help, just like we feel about disasters such as Hurricane Katrina and the Haiti earthquake. Sometimes we can do something directly; most times we cannot and we often wish we could do more.

What compels me is that a terrible loss like this is a reminder – no, a call to action – to keep doing my best serving others in my own personal ways: as Board Development Chair for the YMCA of Orange County; as a connector for difference-making people and causes; by sharing ideas like this story and reminding others to keep doing their “best”; and just by being constructive and considerate with the people in my life.

Things such as the blatantly unfair passing of such a fine man must remind me of my own responsibilty to do what I can, where I can…and without whining, ever. I’ll keep trying to stay true to this commitment, and I hope all of you will as well. A little bit of real perspective for all of us just might make a big difference.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Also, funds are being raised for the college education of the two girls left without their Dad. Let me know if you want to know more.

Great Community Resources:

Stagelight Family Productions: www.stagelightproductions.com

YMCA of Orange County: www.ymcaoc.org

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

A Relationship Story - Ethics, One Simple Choice at a Time

I remember a few years ago how my leadership coach Vance Caesar helped me understand an unexpected truth about ethics. I talked about a time when I was angry and expressed it “loud and clear” to another person. Vance said, “Do you realize that you were being unethical?” I said: “What do you mean, unethical? I wasn’t unethical, I just got mad.”

Vance asked me: “Do you think there were hurt feelings” – I had to admit there were; “Do you feel good about having done it” – I had to admit I didn’t; “Do you wish it could have been different” – again, I had to admit that I did. “So,” Vance said, “You had a choice to make and you made the wrong choice, so it was unethical.” I didn’t enjoy that much, but I had to admit he was right.

We have choices to make all the time, and while the alternatives are not always clear, I believe there are times we just turn a blind eye to our own “wrong” choices. I know that I do.

Leadership and Self-Deception, by The Arbinger Institute, is among the most powerful books I have ever read – in part because of that ethics lesson I learned from Vance. The book tells the story of a leader who discovers significance in the simple choices we make every day.

It describes how relationships constantly present us with choices about how to treat another person, and we most often know the “right” thing to do. When faced with these forks-in-the-road, we have the option to choose what we know is right, and thereby “honor” our best judgment.

Taking the other road and choosing to knowingly deny our best judgment may often be more expedient or just plain easier. While this is sometimes true for us all, the author describes how this choice makes us guilty of “self betrayal.” But, we say, isn’t a wrong choice relatively insignificant by itself? Well…

When we choose what we know is wrong, we then have to make it right in our minds to avoid feeling guilty. We must build the case for why it wasn’t wrong after all - convincing ourselves of all the reasons why we’re so great and the other person isn’t. The more reasons we add to these mental lists, the more right the wrong decision seems.

This is “Self Deception” – what the author calls being “In the Box.” The big problem is…others are not fooled. If we deceive ourselves, and are not authentic, we create a trust barrier to good relationships (that’s the box image). Getting out of the box requires freeing ourselves from this self deception.

Ever since reading this book I find there is nowhere to hide when faced with these simple choices. As annoying as it can sometimes seem, I need to be honest with myself about what’s right at these moments – with my family, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, as well as with the next person I meet.

It may seem that making a constant series of right choices may be a tough commitment to live up to, but from a practical standpoint, think of all the energy it takes to deceive ourselves – not to mention the on-going relationship damage from being “In the Box.” I think you might agree, right choices seem like a good path toward freedom.

While the book focuses on relationships between people, my belief is that this idea can apply to just about anything we do. Maybe we should all try it today – we may just like how it feels.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Book Suggestion: Leadership and Self-Deception, Getting Out of the Box – The Arbinger Institute

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

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