Friday, September 03, 2010

A Relationship Story - Our Legacy in the Stories People Tell

What indelible impressions are we leaving on others? Let’s be honest, we think we’re really important, but even the biggest footprints in the sand wash away by morning.

However, we are creating lasting memories for the people in our lives every day. What will they remember?

My Dad was a great man. No, he wasn’t perfect – how could he be growing up in the Depression with a single Mom, living like nomads until he was an adolescent, moving from relative to relative? And dealing with getting only an 8th grade education, two years in a tent in North Africa serving in World War II, and leaving Alabama for a California entreprenurial dream that was stolen away from him too soon? No, he wasn’t perfect, but he was a great man.

And not because he achieved storybook fame and fortune coming from modest means – not that version of “great”. My Dad worked hard as a 33-year union man with Hughes Aircraft while moonlighting as a watchmaker at home in the evenings – he was always so busy that I appreciated the times he would break away to play catch with his sports-crazed son. No, he didn’t conquer the world, but he was a great man.

And not because he achieved major acclaim in the community by being the President of this or the Grand Poobah of that. He was a valuable part of groups like the Masonic Lodge, and a volunteer par-excellance in all the worlds where my brother and I were involved, but he never “led” anything. No, he was not prominent, but he was a great man.

Now four years after he left us at age 84 I look back on his life and realize what greatness really means. To put it simply - everyone loved my Dad. He has always been remembered so fondly by everyone who knew him – family, friends and the people he worked and volunteered with.

• My brother and I just went to a family reunion in Alabama and everyone raved about how wonderful “Charlie” had been – and the reunion was with our Mom’s side of the family!

• Early in my corporate life at Hughes (where one of his watchmaking customers gave me my first job) I was a brash, energetic, and pretty annoying young guy, but anybody that knew I was Charlie Black’s son immediately treated me like I was okay with them.

• My Dad embodied the true definition of volunteer – I still cherish a special carved hatchet he made for every kid in our tribe as an invitation to a YMCA Indian Guides meeting – where did he find the time to make those while working two jobs? Anything I ever learned about helping others I learned from his example.

I could learn from my Dad’s life that it’s not about being perfect, it’s about persevering through challenges and leaving the campsite cleaner than you found it (both literally and in relationships); I could learn from my Dad that not everyone conquers the world, but working really hard makes a difference to everyone around us in addition to ourselves; I could learn from my Dad that giving our time and talent in a caring way is our greatest volunteer gift – we impact people’s lives whether we are a leader or not.

Maybe it would help us all to remember that the stories people tell, and will tell about us, are most likely about how we made them feel – I truly believe that is our best way to really matter. That’s the kind of greatness we can all truly hope to realize.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

A final tribute to my Dad – this story intentionally coincides with the Angels hosting the MLB All-Star Game. While my brother and I (both life-long Dodger fans) could never really understand it, Dad always loved the Angels and we couldn’t convince him otherwise – like I said, he wasn’t perfect!

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Relationship Story - Real Perspective

I remember my late 30’s – 15 years married and two daughters in elementary school. My volunteer life, like most parents at that stage, was attached to the girls’ activities like YMCA Princesses, Girl Scouts, and softball. I was busy building a career while trying not to miss the kids’ things, and helping a little whenever possible. I’m sure I whined a lot too. I clearly didn’t realize how good I had it.

A few years later I got to experience an extraordinary volunteer community - youth theater - parents who spent tons of time and energy volunteering but also bonded like no other volunteer group I had seen. There was something special about the shared experience of making magic happen on stage while enabling a huge growth experience for the kids.

The MIB’s (the “B” is for Back, as in Backstage) worked tirelessly building sets and as backstage crew for the shows – always in back, always in the dark, always unsung. Recently one of those selfless difference makers – a wonderful Dad in his late 30’s with two teenage daughters – went to the hospital with a mystifying viral disease. He didn’t come home and our world was deprived of this wonderful man.

Perhaps I caught you by surprise with this sad story, however, it helps me make two important points about real perspective. First…it reminds me that I have no right to whine about anything. The second point I want to share (and more importantly remember myself) is far more powerful.

The community outpouring of concern and direct help for this family is fantastic, and it’s what we might hope for from a family-oriented group like this. It is so natural for caring people to want to “do” something to directly help, just like we feel about disasters such as Hurricane Katrina and the Haiti earthquake. Sometimes we can do something directly; most times we cannot and we often wish we could do more.

What compels me is that a terrible loss like this is a reminder – no, a call to action – to keep doing my best serving others in my own personal ways: as Board Development Chair for the YMCA of Orange County; as a connector for difference-making people and causes; by sharing ideas like this story and reminding others to keep doing their “best”; and just by being constructive and considerate with the people in my life.

Things such as the blatantly unfair passing of such a fine man must remind me of my own responsibilty to do what I can, where I can…and without whining, ever. I’ll keep trying to stay true to this commitment, and I hope all of you will as well. A little bit of real perspective for all of us just might make a big difference.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Also, funds are being raised for the college education of the two girls left without their Dad. Let me know if you want to know more.

Great Community Resources:

Stagelight Family Productions: www.stagelightproductions.com

YMCA of Orange County: www.ymcaoc.org

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Relationship Story - Ethics, One Simple Choice at a Time

I remember a few years ago how my leadership coach Vance Caesar helped me understand an unexpected truth about ethics. I talked about a time when I was angry and expressed it “loud and clear” to another person. Vance said, “Do you realize that you were being unethical?” I said: “What do you mean, unethical? I wasn’t unethical, I just got mad.”

Vance asked me: “Do you think there were hurt feelings” – I had to admit there were; “Do you feel good about having done it” – I had to admit I didn’t; “Do you wish it could have been different” – again, I had to admit that I did. “So,” Vance said, “You had a choice to make and you made the wrong choice, so it was unethical.” I didn’t enjoy that much, but I had to admit he was right.

We have choices to make all the time, and while the alternatives are not always clear, I believe there are times we just turn a blind eye to our own “wrong” choices. I know that I do.

Leadership and Self-Deception, by The Arbinger Institute, is among the most powerful books I have ever read – in part because of that ethics lesson I learned from Vance. The book tells the story of a leader who discovers significance in the simple choices we make every day.

It describes how relationships constantly present us with choices about how to treat another person, and we most often know the “right” thing to do. When faced with these forks-in-the-road, we have the option to choose what we know is right, and thereby “honor” our best judgment.

Taking the other road and choosing to knowingly deny our best judgment may often be more expedient or just plain easier. While this is sometimes true for us all, the author describes how this choice makes us guilty of “self betrayal.” But, we say, isn’t a wrong choice relatively insignificant by itself? Well…

When we choose what we know is wrong, we then have to make it right in our minds to avoid feeling guilty. We must build the case for why it wasn’t wrong after all - convincing ourselves of all the reasons why we’re so great and the other person isn’t. The more reasons we add to these mental lists, the more right the wrong decision seems.

This is “Self Deception” – what the author calls being “In the Box.” The big problem is…others are not fooled. If we deceive ourselves, and are not authentic, we create a trust barrier to good relationships (that’s the box image). Getting out of the box requires freeing ourselves from this self deception.

Ever since reading this book I find there is nowhere to hide when faced with these simple choices. As annoying as it can sometimes seem, I need to be honest with myself about what’s right at these moments – with my family, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, as well as with the next person I meet.

It may seem that making a constant series of right choices may be a tough commitment to live up to, but from a practical standpoint, think of all the energy it takes to deceive ourselves – not to mention the on-going relationship damage from being “In the Box.” I think you might agree, right choices seem like a good path toward freedom.

While the book focuses on relationships between people, my belief is that this idea can apply to just about anything we do. Maybe we should all try it today – we may just like how it feels.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Book Suggestion: Leadership and Self-Deception, Getting Out of the Box – The Arbinger Institute

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

Selected clients in my retained search practice: Allergan, SAIL Ventures, Pharmavite, Newport Corporation, Danaher SDS, Smile Brands, GKN PLC, Canon, Pharmavite, Meggitt PLC, PPG Industries, SRS Labs, Cal-Am Properties, Sunrise Growers, Specialty Restaurants Corp., and Panda Restaurant Group.

Your referrals for Retained Executive Search are greatly appreciated; please let me know if there are companies that you believe may benefit from being connected with me.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A Relationship Story - Fit for Results

Successful outcomes are the only thing that really matters in business, of course, but there are a lot of different ways to get there. My recent experience successfully placing a new CIO at Panda Restaurant Group gave me a glimpse into an opportunity that many companies may not recognize.

The need for technical excellence, educational pedigree, and an achiever’s drive are almost always a prerequisite for any key addition to a team. In the case of a senior leader joining Panda, there was a critically important added dimension that made the fit a unique and exciting challenge.

You see, at Panda, the culture and values of the organization are uniquely important. However, I would argue that the unique importance of this is a tool that could be much more effectively utilized by so many more organizations.

The makeup of the person is a consistently clear focus for Panda. They expect people who join their team to possess a unique set of characteristics that ensure they will fit into the culture of this extremely successful and rapidly growing company. Think about the following dualities that every person that joins Panda is measured against. People are expected to be:

Disciplined and Embraces Change
Results Oriented and Caring
Confident and Humble
Competitive and Team Oriented
Student and Teacher


There is much to learn from this, and not necessarily from the specifics of this set of cultural norms. A powerful message for me, and I believe a key strength of Panda, is that they really care about what’s important in their company.

I’ve come to believe that companies need to stop and ask themselves what is really important to them – call it values, culture, mission, whatever – the key question is just plain “what’s important?”. For some companies like Panda, the nature of the people is key; for other companies there may be a completely different set of critical criteria.

For instance, on the Wall Street trading floor, what’s critical is surely thinking fast and making quick (and wise) decisions. In a doctor’s office, care for patients and their well-being may be most important. In heavy manufacturing, safety may matter most. None of these scenarios is better or worse than any other; however, the power is in clarity – knowing what matters.

Through my search consultancy I’ve come to believe there is a central factor that can serve as the SUPER-GLUE FOR GREAT TALENT in companies – it’s the FIT between what really matters to the company and the true makeup of its people. I believe that vision alone (where the company is going) does not naturally engender loyalty, but I believe a true fit between the values of an employee and “what’s important” to the company can supercharge loyalty.

The power of fit can be achieved on Wall Street, at the Doctor, or on the factory floor, but fit must start with the company taking seriously a commitment to what it considers really important – what it truly values. Ask yourself if your company knows what is really important. If so, then be consistent and leverage it. If not, it may be time to look under the hood.

My recent experience with the passion for values fit at Panda has inspired me to communicate about this subject; I want to help more companies understand their potential opportunity to create a stronger bond with their talent. In addition to this story I am beginning to speak to leadership groups on this subject – please let me know if you know of groups that might want to hear about this topic.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/

A Relationship Story - Completely-Baked Secrets to Success

What are those elusive secrets to success? Let me tell two very different stories, one fictional and one real, as they offer some good answers.

Ben Braddock (the title character in 1967’s The Graduate) walks into his parents’ kitchen and confidently announces to them: “I’m going to marry Elaine Robinson”. Following the classic squeals of his delighted Mother, they ask for details – the date, how he asked her … but he explains that she doesn’t know it yet – in fact, she doesn’t currently even like him.

Ben’s incredulous Father then says, “…well Ben, this all seems rather half-baked”, but Ben declares, “no, it’s completely baked, and I’m leaving right now to see her”. No, he didn’t have all the details in place (well, actually none of them), but what he did have was the first secret to success - a world of faith and resolve - he was certain it would happen.

Now, to reality - a few weeks ago I went on my annual major-league ballpark tour with my fellow baseball fanatic buddies – 5 games, 5 cities, 5 days. Late in the game with the Phillies under the shadow of the Gateway Arch, Cardinals Centerfielder Rick Ankiel raced back and stretched for a would-be triple as he crashed headlong into the wall and crumpled to the ground.

The jam-packed ballpark was hushed for 10 minutes as Ankiel was carefully placed on a stretcher and taken away to help. Well, the good news was that he only had whiplash and would be ok, but it was really scary – and he even made the catch!

In Hollywood, this would have been the last out of the championship and Ankiel would be a legendary hero. But, in reality, it was just game #26 of 162 in the season. Also, it was the 8th inning with the Cards behind 6-1 – they would not recover – it was a loss, just another loss in a long season. No Hollywood ending by any means, however, there was nothing half-baked about Ankiel’s committed effort – another secret to success.

I was struck by this as an excellent example of what it really takes to be successful in our business world full of challenges, competition, and changing circumstances.

First, just like Ben Braddock, we truly have to believe that things will turn out great – the ultimate test of our faith and resolve. But also, like Rick Ankiel’s heroic catch, half-baked efforts will never get us to the Promised Land. We have to dive for would-be triples every time, even when we’re losing, and even early in a long season.

Success in our business world, just like Major League Baseball, requires that we hold nothing back – nothing but our best and most creative efforts will get the job done. And especially during the strange times we have all been through recently, it becomes increasingly apparent to us all … it’s a long season. I wish you your best season ever.

Thanks for sharing time with me; as always, I welcome your feedback and please feel free to pass this message along to others who may find value.

Sincerely,

Jeff Black
Managing Principal Consultant, McDermott & Bull Executive Search
Cell: (714) 356-1949 Office: (949) 753-1700 ext. 310
2 Venture, Suite 100 Irvine, CA 92618
black@mbsearch.net www.mbsearch.net http://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffblackmcdermottbull http://www.jeffblackmcdermottbull.blogspot.com/